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Frustrations

I hate this moment when I get to connect who I was before and who I am becoming at present.

I was full of dreams and goals in life which latter end up to be frustrations. I ever dreamed to become a doctor by which financial constraints hinders me to take another step on what could be my dream career. Now, Im working in a laboratory, doing routine works and felt that my knowledge on medical things have been deteriorating as days passes by.

Before, I was one of those students who happily spend their weekends studying for an upcoming exam. I sacrificed my social life just for the hype and high of learning new things. Today, I found myself immersing myself more into people, almost like dragging them to hangout with me for a simple coffee or any activity to rock the night.

My boredom in my present have led me to be more sociable indeed, and as of today, thats my sole happines – to be surrounded with people.

Still, my frustrations continues to haunt me. If you work on an Arab country where blatant discrimination among asians persist, you’ll never grow in your career. As of now, I am striving to complete my papers to work to the United States- where ordinary people could flourish and all minds are free.

I hope the future ahead shines brighter for me.

77th Anniversary- UPSILON PHI SIGMA

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February 14 are’nt just for lovers, its a day for all Upsilonians too. This year, my fraternity is  celebrating its 77th founding anniversary and its my first time to be alone on this very day. Ever since I was accepted as a member in 2006, I always plot this date to be with my brothers and sisters in the organization. We had great times and would cherish all those moments forever.

Let me share to you how it all started….

APPREHENSIONS

When I was a freshmen in college, I got a lot of invitations to join organizations and fraternities, but I turned them all down. In my thought, I don’t need any fraternity/organizations just to make friends; it might be a waste of time spending on meetings and must prioritize my ambitions and studies. Plus, I’ve heard a lot of stories on how cruel initiations could be. So, from there on, I said to myself never to join any fraternity.

INVITATIONS

going out with Upsilon for the first time

A guy named Bertch who happened to be my KABSI and DORMATE, out of nowhere approached me and my friend Jason to join Upsilon. He started bragging about the organization’s reputation and its members and all sweet thoughts to convince us to join them. He brought me and Jason to one of their outings on Casaroro Falls. It is where we got to have a glimpse on the members and how they treat each other.

Though we were not part of their group, they treated us well and were really good and polite hosts. I was observing everyone and was always on guard. Im even considering how to escape if they would suddenly snap and decide to do harm us, outsiders.

While I was having fun with them,  I realize the personalities of the members are varied yet had come to a common understanding. These were my impressions on them

KARL – silent, deep and seems to be very cautious of outsiders (me and Jason)

MAE ANNE  I knew Mae Anne since we came to the same high school, She tried to entertain us, and made us comfortable even though we were on their group

JASON – his looks and face dont jive. He looks like very strict but always cracks jokes.

MARJO – always smiling and friendly

GRACE – very loquacious and intellectual.

BERTCH – friendly, smart and prime mover of the group

There were really good at us and gave us great company. They never let us feel that we don’t belong to them. Generally, they are fun-lovers and took their studies seriously. Still, even after having an acquaintance with them, I was still not convinced.

DECISION

It was during the second semester of my freshmen year that I realize Im often alone and am living on an old boring routine of studying-eating-sleeping. Though I had good grades and made friends, it feels like there’s lacking. I found myself longing for people whom I could trust and be with all the time.

Unexpectedly, me and Bertch became good friends. He constantly persuaded me to join his organization and introduced me to all its members. Being convinced that most of the members are good, I made the decision to join the fraternity and would never QUIT on any trials given to me.

INITIATION and RITUAL

During the batch orientation, there were eight of us. But when the official service begins, we were down to three. It was me, Mark and Germaine. During the first day of service, I expected Germaine to quit and never built a deep connection with her knowing that one of the days of our trials, she would someday QUIT. Me and Mark became quite close and supported each other.

Then the initiation rites came. Unexpectedly, Germaine remain tough and strong and so the three of us survived the Initiation rites. Few days before the final/ritual rites, it was discovered that Mark was a member of Delta Upsilon and was seeking to leave his former fraternity. After having proven this, Mark was automatically expelled from the selection process. And so I was left with Germaine. The girl I seldom talk and trust to. We started going out together not to bond but to plan and push each other to survive the upcoming ritual rites. As days goes by, we found ourselves building a special relationship as batchmates. We promised that whatever happens, no one would QUIT.

Then during the ritual rites, me and Gem were separated but I could still barely hear her cries. Though in pain, I was confident that she is strong enough to survive. By sunrise of February 26, 2006, me and Germaine were declared newly accepted members.

Now people often ask me what is the difference of having a brods and sis compared to a friend? For me, a brother accepts who you are and would hide your secrets with you. Your brother wont betray you because it would feel betraying himself but a friend could always betray you if not now….someday.

Until now, most people cant believe that Im part of a fraternity. My looks really deceives. Being part of Upsilon is one of the best decision that I ever made. I could’nt imagine how my college years be without my most loved Fraternity.

“Its hard to be one but its great to become” Viva UPSILONIANS!