Temper blows off with HIND

There I went again…setting loose my temper over a workmate who adpated a big head after two months of joining us.

We have a new Sudanese laboratory technologist who just got hired in our “prestigious” hospital. In terms of working attitude, she’s fine, she’ll do. For skills, naah…needs more training but we can teach her somehow. In terms of reaching out to her, all of us are having a hard time. She cant understand nor speak english well. Its like you are speaking to a 5 year old girl who doesnt know the basic vocabulary of english.

I was very patient and have been very understanding to her. I taught her all the things she needs to know even the basic ones in our field. Even the simplest details and personal strategies, I shared and given a lot of me to her. To sum it all up, we had a good working relationship as senior-protege’ is concern.

Our complication rooted in her unwillingness to cooperate with the rest of us in terms of scheduling. She have been granted of all evening shifts and friday offs for a months because of her “motherly-dramas” in life. Now comes the time that Nadeem, one of our colleague, resigned from his position leaving the five of us covering for all shifts not to mention the useless night shifts covered by me and Jena alone. This month of August, I have requested for a friday off, which I seldom do, to attend a friend’s birthday celebration. Because of my request, she should do one Friday evening duty. What pisses me off is that she doesnt give way to me nor to anyone else who also needs a friday off. She has been so selfish and was thinking about herself alone. And so, I confronted her with regards to the issue and everything went bad and I exploded. She saw the bad side of me and have witnessed my stern look whenever my temper blews off. She raised her voice to me and so I did to her. I demanded for respect that I deserved. I was just fighting for what is right and fair not only to me but to all of us working the same department.

I might have crossed the lined by saying ” If you cannot abide the rules of the hospital, the rules of the laboratory, might as well go home”. What I want to let her understand is that she should be fair to us and be considerate. Perhaps, Sudanesse people do have low employability chances in various institutions because of such attribute, (I happen to know someone with same nationality). To make things worst, I guess she doesnt understand what I was trying to imply to her. Its really hard to talk nor argue to someone who doesnt understand you.

All I know was I just voiced out and fight for what is just and fair. Sorry, she happens to step into someone who complains a lot whenever abused of his goodness. Better luck next time Hind.

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“KASALANAN ko BA”

Video

Ibang-iba ang nadarama
Ng puso ko sa iyo
‘Di ko na kaya ang
Umiwas pa sa piling mo

Alam ko mayroon ng nagmamahal sa iyo
Bakit ngayon ka pa
Natagpuan sa buhay kong ito

CHORUS:
Kasalanan ko ba
Kung iniibig kita?
‘Di ko naman sinasadya ang mahalin kita (ang mahalin kita)
Kasalanan ko ba kung ang nadarama
Ay pag-ibig na tapat?
Mapipigil ko ba kung mahal kitang talaga

Nagtitiis at nangangamba
Sa tuwing kasama mo siya
Hanggang kailan ko ba madadala
Ang pagdaramdam

CHORUS:
Kasalanan ko ba
Kung iniibig kita?
‘Di ko naman sinasadya ang mahalin kita (ang mahalin kita)
Kasalanan ko ba kung ang nadarama
Ay pag-ibig na tapat?
Mapipigil ko ba kung mahal kitang talaga

BRIDGE:
Umaasa pa
Magising akong kapiling ka
At ‘di na mawawalay pa

CHORUS:
Kasalanan ko ba
Kung iniibig kita?
‘Di ko naman sinasadya ang mahalin kita (ang mahalin kita)
Kasalanan ko ba kung ang nadarama
Ay pag-ibig na tapat?
Mapipigil ko ba kung mahal kitang talaga
Kasalanan ba

To be a good SON

Here’s the demise of a son-slowly turning parents to their parents: one can’t leave them behind.

I really feel my life is going nowhere. I feel I have been stuck in the monotony of boring routines of work and sleep. In contrast to my classmates who were about to graduate from their respective and relatively reputable medical schools. I can imagine them looking forward for the upcoming march warm air, hearing the bells of cheers and laughs of triumph: saying “Alas! we made it, we are now Doctors!” For them, challenges continue to come their way and life might be as enjoyable as challenging it could be.

Now, that’s the word I’ve been looking for “CHALLENGE”. Though I have accepted life I chose in terms of my career but that very word have been so elusive for me. I can feel Im stuck on the bottom of a jar, trying to see what’s like to be out. What depresses me more is that I know how talented and intellectually gifted I am to be stuck on a sinking and rotting company.

This reminds me of a phrase from Edward Maslow, “If you are part of an institution, do not condemn it, for it you, the first high wind would blow you away and probably you will never know why” But forgive me but I am working on a company who could hardly pay their staffs. Being on a place of poor technology plus low staff morale equals a super wasted me. I really dont belong here! and that I need to move on.

Moving on is another issue. I can always tender my resignation and go on my way. I know I can live wherever I may roam but what hinders me is my parents. Since my US application is on halt, I am planning to take an exam to enable me to work at a nearby gulf country, say HAAD or DHA perhaps. I know I could even ACE such exam (I really believe on myself) but the thing is I really can’t leave my parents behind. I have been a parent of my parents- slowly doing things a parent would do for a child.

I am young, vibrant, brave and is very eager to fly! But under my wings are a massive responsibility I should do as a son. I can fly but its too heavy for me.

Bottomline, I need to choose. Personal ambition or the wellness of my parents. Being selfish would lead me to the former but being me would make me choose the later. And so, here I am, stuck and lonely. Ambitions are being shunned down. People like me would rather say “God has always a plan for everything”  Well, I might stick to that mantra, after all, I dont have a choice but to see things on a brighter perspective.

Okay….patience prince…more patience..and you will be rewarded…