Here’s the demise of a son-slowly turning parents to their parents: one can’t leave them behind.
I really feel my life is going nowhere. I feel I have been stuck in the monotony of boring routines of work and sleep. In contrast to my classmates who were about to graduate from their respective and relatively reputable medical schools. I can imagine them looking forward for the upcoming march warm air, hearing the bells of cheers and laughs of triumph: saying “Alas! we made it, we are now Doctors!” For them, challenges continue to come their way and life might be as enjoyable as challenging it could be.
Now, that’s the word I’ve been looking for “CHALLENGE”. Though I have accepted life I chose in terms of my career but that very word have been so elusive for me. I can feel Im stuck on the bottom of a jar, trying to see what’s like to be out. What depresses me more is that I know how talented and intellectually gifted I am to be stuck on a sinking and rotting company.
This reminds me of a phrase from Edward Maslow, “If you are part of an institution, do not condemn it, for it you, the first high wind would blow you away and probably you will never know why” But forgive me but I am working on a company who could hardly pay their staffs. Being on a place of poor technology plus low staff morale equals a super wasted me. I really dont belong here! and that I need to move on.
Moving on is another issue. I can always tender my resignation and go on my way. I know I can live wherever I may roam but what hinders me is my parents. Since my US application is on halt, I am planning to take an exam to enable me to work at a nearby gulf country, say HAAD or DHA perhaps. I know I could even ACE such exam (I really believe on myself) but the thing is I really can’t leave my parents behind. I have been a parent of my parents- slowly doing things a parent would do for a child.
I am young, vibrant, brave and is very eager to fly! But under my wings are a massive responsibility I should do as a son. I can fly but its too heavy for me.
Bottomline, I need to choose. Personal ambition or the wellness of my parents. Being selfish would lead me to the former but being me would make me choose the later. And so, here I am, stuck and lonely. Ambitions are being shunned down. People like me would rather say “God has always a plan for everything” Well, I might stick to that mantra, after all, I dont have a choice but to see things on a brighter perspective.
Okay….patience prince…more patience..and you will be rewarded…