“Pschologizing” a broken promise

Every man is inclined of choosing people who they trust. The “choosing” process is a careful self deliberation and relative justification of factors of giving away such trust. Giving something a bit of important information about oneself that is too personal often asks the receiver a commitment to keep it to his/herself, thus, making a PROMISE. 

THE WORD. Merely breaking down the words of PROMISE, leads us to two syllables- PRO and MISE. The word “PRO” means a positive favoritism of a certain proposition, on the other hand, “MISE” means “agreement in simple legal terms. However, I’ve figured, by simply adding two letters, “RY” makes the “promise” into a “pro-misery”. Indeed, a promise always comes with a promisery afterwards since promises are often always broken.

THE PERSON. Does someone who broke his/her promise makes him a bad one? well, the answer is always relative. Closing down to absolute reasons are for people who are born in the medieval ages. A number of reason could be considered why man always do break their promises. I, for one, have broken a lot of made promises.

Lets take for example my own personal experience, No one knows the direct link to this blog or have any idea that I do have a personal space in the web except for one. Neither my best friends nor closest kin knows anything about this blog. I repeat, only one knows about this directly. I dont even TAG my posts with keywords to maintain its privacy to the maximum.

I just found out that the “one” told “someone” about this. The thought of it stunned me in a way remembering of the trust I gave to her and hope that since everything ended, the knowledge of the existence of this space would be buried. I know she has her personal reasons maybe of reassuring “someone” of their newly re-woven commitment to each other, leaving her very simple commitment to me  of keeping this blog even to “someone” broken.

I know she has no intention of doing so, but time dictates that at some point, she has to be honest to the fullest and that I completely understand. By this understanding also asks the same understanding of how betrayed do i feel.

THE BLOG.  My blog has an understatement “thoughts that are too personal” It is in here where I do express my deepest thoughts that I expect no judgement as to who I am. This blog is intended also to keep the memories I wanted to remember wherever, whenever and whoever are those people that I met and had great times/ bad times with. It is in here where I pour out my anger, frustrations and simple rejoices that I don’t show often to people.

Now, if “someone” doesn’t like my previous posts then you have the choice not to visit this after all. By simply doing so would prove your security to yourself and to her. After all, I should not/never matter to the two of you.

And to YOU who asks me to delete some posts here, I really do appreciate your politeness but I really am sorry, I can never delete any posts I publish for that would mean I am deleting the memories as well as the learning I got from that experience.

For the two of you, I am genuinely happy for your happiness and contentment, though it doesn’t show but really, I truly am. People around us might say Im bitter about what happened, well in some point yes but now, I have a better perspective on things. People might add charcoal into the flames between us but my conscience is clear and my thoughts are clear….again, I really am happy for the both of you.

For “someone” I wish to say Im sorry for crossing my line before and i oath not to do it again to “you” nor to anyone else. I was terribly wrong and that might even broke your heart over and over. It might be late of saying my apologies but its the noble thing to do to close everything. Im not expecting that we could be friends after all but I wish we could.

For “you”, I know you are a good and sincere person. I understand why you do broke your promise…really I understand. It was really great of meeting a “typical taurean woman”

College Classmates

Oh the old college years indeed. While I was cleaning and organzing all my photos in my laptop, I came accross this picture of me with my classmates in third year when we were still under the college of the Clinical Laboratory Science Institute of Silliman University. This picture was taken during our Christmas party way back in 2008.

As of the press time, I totally lost my communications with all of them. Few went to reputable medical schools in the Philippines, some worked as a medical technologist in their respective towns/districts while here I am in Doha, hoping to make it big in this Arab country. I am going to describe the people in here from right to left (facing the screen of course)

The Lady in black sleeveless is Mir Cantilla, she is one of the first few friends I had when we were in our first year. I remember during our first days in Silliman, me and my roomate Jason would visit their dormitory and have a few chats with another close friend of ours-Aziza. Mir loves to be with friends having fun. I could never forget the unique laugh she has. She is now working as a medical technologist at Chong Hua Hospital in Cebu City.

The guy on black polo shirt is PHILIP TANTANO, a present medical student in Cebu Institue of Medicine. He is ambitious and competitive. He is hardworking and knows how to discipline hiself in terms of studies. Whenever exams are approaching, we know Philip would never give into temptations of all kinds in contrast to most of us. We usually call him “boobs” not just because he has this “man-boob” but his nickname is bobbie. “Boobs” truly fits for him. He by the way graduated cumlaude and was on top of the graduating class.

Forgive me but I really cant remember the name of the lady beside Mir, the one wearing a black and white polo. All i know is she was a member of the Hermanas society and loves to chat. She originally belongs to a batch ahead of us and needs to take more credits from our level.

JEZRILL CRUZ is the one on white polo. He is actually a she and all of us respected her. She is fond of online games and has a natural intelligence that no one could beat. Usually, you could find jezrill on internet shops playing DOTA or WOW. If not on the internet cafes, she might be busy calling her Mom/Dad forcing them to send her money for all her hidden activities. He is our Medtech Society treasurer and I actually like working with him since he could bridge all the differences between the officer’s attitudes and mood.  Jezrill is presently working as a medical technolgist under the Department of Health. Last thing I heard about him is that he handles three public health offices in his district.

MELANIE CADIZ, the pretty president of the Hermanas Sorority. She is hot and athletic. Though she looks damn pretty, she is down to earth and interacts with all kinds of people. Her charms is the key in all her collaborations with other organizations. She is now working in Dipolog as a medical technolgist.

RAIN LORICO, is the one who owns a red cab and to whom we usually hitch a ride with her when we need a ride going to a far away building on the main campus. She is a trustworthy level treasurer and follows every order and requests given to her. She might appear snob but she isn’t. If I need something to be done in the level, I wont hesitate to ask her help.

MICHAEL JASON MUSONG (the one where I lay my elbows on). If there could be one person who really knows me it is him. He is my classmate in high school and my roomate later housemate way back in college. He knows which days are my worst and knows when to keep his distance on me. He knows how would I react on different situations. I usually wake him up late at night for him to study since he has an extremely sleepy head. He is now working as a medical technologist in Gallares Hospital in our place Bohol.

JONATHAN AMANTE is a smart silent type of guy. He could really be competitive which others find annoying. He came from a prominent family of doctors. Others might see him as rich bratt but to me he is just ok and easy to understand. He is now a medical student at Silliman University Medical School where his Dad happens just to be the Dean of the department. During my presidency in the society, he offers his help in all ways possible but I refuse to ask anything from him just to keep away from arguments.

The one peeping for the camera beside Jonathan is DANCYL LUMBAB, she likes to dress and flaunt her body. I usually use her family name as a joke in several presentations which is by the way a good humour to crack. She could be sweet and cuddly to me. She always mention the boys who texting her and all of us listening would be like “really?” She didnt graduate in Silliman University since she transfered to another school after the second semester of third year. Never heard from her since then.

QUEEN SAYSON is really a strong willed woman. She thinks maturely and could be very opinionated on things. She could be good leader if she wishes to. At present she is working in Cebu as a laboratory technologist too

LESTER ZAMORA is the guy who never gets angry whatever you throw at him. He usually cracks jokes and makes the stressful environment lighter. He is fond of study-cram which is really funny if you could see him panic. This guy maintained its cool and tact at all times. He aspires to be lawyer but fate lead him to the medical school in CIM.

RODIN CHUA is a close friend of Queen Sayson and they actually have a very similar personality. She could be very loud when upset and happy. Apart from this, she is a sweet mother at a very young age. Last thing I heard aboyt her is that she works at the Philippine National Red Cross in her town.

CHERIE CADAYDAY is the chubby girl beside butch. I couldnt handle the presidency without her as my vice. I actually consider her as a reagent at most times when I got my hands-full. She is a leader and a friend. She always backed me in all my plans for the society. She is smart and knows how to balance mental, spiritual and social life. She is now a medical student at the West Visayas State University in Iloilo.

STEPHANIE SINDA   is one talented and smart lady. She has a great comprehension on all things. She could sing, dance, do sports and excel in her academics with a minimum effort given. Sometimes she could be lazy in paper works and stuff but no matter or wherever you put her, she does excel. Last thing I’ve heard about her was she was planning to pursue further studies as a forensic scientist somewhere in the United States.

To all of my friends and classmates, I wish all the roads we’ve taken would be in our favour. I hope to see all of them soon….might be on the 2020 batch reunion.

Walking ALONE

Most people wonder how I do it but I still find solace being alone. Today, I spent my OFF jogging and walking along corniche…..then after decided to take another long walk on my way home. Though alone, I never felt the supposedly “boredom” of its nature since I was equipped with good earphones to listen to good radio music.

walking along the streets of DOHA